Miles to go before I sleep!!!

Here’s the Tag from Geetika… “10 things before I die”

What follows can also be termed as a Wish-list and birthday is such an apt time to do it ;)
So, here we go:

1. A helicopter ride – that’s not a tough one, but my fascination for choppers from the childhood days is still very much there.
2. Be whatever M has missed in life.
3. Collect books – thousands of’em! (Goes without saying – read’em all too!)
4. Find some old school buddies, I still remember their names… and faces too, but just can’t find them…
5. Get married to A – AGAIN!!! - On 25th, 50th, 75th, 100th, 125th, 150th … Wedding anniversaries…until we lose the count of years and even after that!
6. Learn dancing… and baking as well.
7. Meet SRK and still be able to stand on my own feet ;)
8. Never let my kids know of the word “NO” – I’m going to try hard for this one.
9. Study a few more years – not sure what I want to pursue yet, though!
10. The last one...It was real difficult getting here, but this one was easy… Raising a baby gal. :)


P.S.: There’s no Order of preference for the list, the wishes were rearranged in the alphabetical order! ;)


Sweety.

3 Nights & 2 Days @ Taj Hotel, Mumbai

Unfortunately, that's not an irresistible hotel package I'm talking about.
I've never been glued to TV, rather glued to a news channel as I've been in last 58 hours...

Of all the things they've been showing and talking about, I observe ONE thing... in one of the clips covered by lensmen, I see a few NSG commandos running in the background and I see the turbans on their heads...goes without saying, they were all Sikhs by religion, but very Indian at hearts IN MUMBAI...

Leaves me wondering why theres no one from Honorable Mr Raj Thackrey's MNS team, and why these NORTH & SOUTH Indian NSG commandos were allowed by MNS to fight and rescue his very dear Maharashtrians...

I hope Mr Raj Thackrey is getting a lesson out of it and he hides himself under the roof of his home and never comes out for the rest of his life!

I might be talking regionalism, but thats honestly not my idea behind writing it all here...

Sweety.

10 years without you

I still remember myself watching her go, she was to be admitted in a hospital, and I kept seeing her till the end of the road, and I'd do this almost everyday. Would think about her, resting my elbows on the windowsill, without batting an eyelid, I'd keep looking at that corner of the road, imagining that's where she'd come from, smiling healthily.

But little I knew that she won't ever come back...what came was the news that she had departed.

Again and again, even after she'd left, I'd still go and look out of the window, would keep looking at the same end of the same road, thinking non stop "here she comes, here she come, she hasnt really gone away..." Those were the days when I had actually started believing that departed ones do come back, but she never did!

And then there was a time I started hating her, for she had made us so miserable without her, I am sure she knew this misery had to happen. I can never forget how helpless we were. But I also knew she's around and is watching her daughters being raised without her and feeling helpless about it. Gradually that bad feeling melted away, gradually I involved myself in daily chores she used to take care of, but I continued with my waiting-at-the-window routine, I kept waiting for her arrival.

And I still remember pa appearing from the same end of the road, accompanied by a few other men, hands down, folded, face down, eyes down, looking at the road, coming towards home. He had brought her, lifeless, for us to see her for the last time and bid her the last good bye...

That was the end of one big chapter of our lives...lives had changed, our lives had changed.

Though I wanted to preserve them, but after a lot of thinking, I got some of her dresses altered and would wear them sometimes. And then I noticed - pa would look sadder, gloomier and quieter. I realised her clothes made him think of her much much more. He almost even called me with her name when I was wearing her clothes. Seemed like I was torturing him and I made up my mind not to wear them again...

Growing up, I was inspired to take up a lot of things she had mastered in. While I was real interested in some, I took up some only out of respect I had, but soon figured it was worth including them in life... one of those things was designing dresses. Everybody around was so amazed with my work, while I thought it was probably in my genes.

Offlate, I have been occupied to such extent, that I dont even think of her everyday or as much as I should, yet some or the other thing reminds me of her. Life is being pretty good to me and I feel happier when I remind myself that wherever she is, she is with pa and not alone. I know she is constantly watching over us and still doing her best for us.

Today, its been whole ten years without you Ma, and deep down somwhere in my heart, I still hope I'd see you standing next to me and I'd get in one moment, what I've missed all these years. Thank you a zillion times, if at all that can suffice, for everything you got me in life, however I'd still ask you for something...

We all are still incomplete without you, please come back if you can.

Sweety.

...aaj dil dukha hai, tum yaad aaye,
anjaane log hain, apne kahan dhoondh paye...

...Thinking of "Pa" and his ways in life...

Sweety.

Me - the Hopelessly Romantic!

This one comes from my College years, when I used to burn midnight oil to study and some electricity for FM Radio. Heard this one such night on one of the FM Stations:

Agar ye jeewan hai ik samandar vishal,
to aa ek seep me hum ek sapna jagaye.
Phir saahil pe prem ki mitti se,
ek chhota sa pyara sa hum ghar banaye.
Usey duaaon se apni hum aur karen pakka,
aur ashko ke diyon se andar-bahar sajaaye.
Ab zindagi hai to gham ke toofaan bhi aayenge,
chal is ghar ko lehron se kuch door banayen!

Still remember, by the time I could type and text it to A, my eyes had moistened and I cried when he called back after reading this :) ... such is Love!


Sweety.

Return of an Auditor :D

I returned back to my usual job today...job of auditing calls...after a long time. Not that I was off work, was busy training batches of new hires back to back...ah, that reminds there's another one lined up next week...so anyways, after current batch was thru the final assessments, I could get back to my usual audit thing...and with that, I was back to my music box too...

Auditing at our end consists of a lot of filing and data entry too, so while I am doing all that, I keep playing one or the other track and keep moving my feet...so today, the first thing I did when I got back at desk was I plugged in my beautifully amazing and amazingly beautiful headphone and played a song which goes like this...

Sinbad the sailor jahaaz me jab chala
Mere yaar sun lo sun lo
Dhoondh raha tha ek nayi duniya ka pata
Mere yaar sun lo sun lo
Woh... anjaani raahon me thaa..o-o
Woh... lehron ki baahon me thaa..o-o ....

And then this one...

Tum ho toh gaata hai dil
Tum nahi toh geet kahaan
Tum ho toh hai sab haasil
Tum nahi toh kya hai yahaan
Tum ho toh hai sapnon ke jaisa haseen ek samaaaaaaa
Jo tum ho toh yeh lagta hai ki mil gayi har khushi
Jo tum na ho yeh lagta hai ki har khushi me hai kami
Tum ko hai mangti yeh zindagiiiiiiiiii......

(Mine and A's current faves respectively!)

And the after effects of these 2 tracks... I felt like I just got up from sleep, felt like a kid jumping with unknown joys, felt like....ummm....just amazing!
Last few days have been real hard "work wise"... new work timings, long training sessions where I kept repeating myself and did endless talking, and where everyday when I got up, the first thing that used to come to my mind was, "o sh**, I'm late again"

I figured out yet another time, what music does to me...wonders!
Anyway, weekend is just right here, with a small family meeting in pipeline and I might go watch "Rock On!!" again...simply loved it...more because I was at Shakuntalam (Pragati Maidan)...where I was to go book fair actually ;) and I did too, got myself "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand...ah, and that reminds me I have to finish "The Kite Runner" ...only last chapter and it's gonna be done...and Its the best fiction I have ever read...and what else....

Whatever i'll be doing this weekend, I'll be hoping for 1 thing... this I do every weekend...
"I'll be hoping this weekend lasts FOREVER!"


Sweety.

Something to Ponder on!

Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.
P.S.: I Love You.


Sweety.

The LATESHT Discovery

Follows is what I realized about myself a while back:

It takes me ages to violate something, but once I start doing it, there's no looking back...!!!
How profound ;)


Sweety.

Sultan - My Gonna Be Friend

Long time no see...I said to myself when I logged in to blogger today! Anyways...

August 3 is friendship day and I'm gonna get a new friend (atleast I hope so!). Read on how...

Lemme now set a background for this gonna-be-friend of mine. I am very very scraed of dogs and A's aunt has one. A biiiiiiig one. A Boxer. They call him Sultan. So, A's aunt is leaving for the US of A sometime next week and wants us to keep Sullu-Pullu while she's away.

Sultan happens to be one of the biggest dogs I've seen so far, but he comes across as a very very intelligent and gentle dog. (Doesn't help me cz I am always scared) They always lock him in a room whenever I visit'em. Now, I am gonna stay with him under the same roof. So I have decided to strike a friendship with him and the time is apt too!

A has been bugging me with the idea of getting a pup home and I say no always. Not because I am scared of'em, but because I strongly feel both of us wont be able to manage. Dogs need care and you need to give'em TIME. You gotta be in a routine for'em. But I have given my green signal to A this time, for I think its a perfect chance for him to find out if he can change himself a bit, change according to Sultan. Sure he's caring enough, but when it comes to doggy-walk etc., he's the laziest guy I've known.

My friend K says you shouldn't bring him home, cz its gonna be difficult for the two of you when you'll send him back at aunt's. When I told A, he said, "do you think I am gonna let him go back?"

Time will tell that. For me now, its time to learn some doggy stuff! Off I go!!!

Sweety.

The Invasion

I hate it when someone attacks my freedom. Freedom of saying things, freedom of not saying things, freedom of following my heart...

I hate it even more when that Invader is a dear one... but then I realise, only dear ones have this liberty... but I still dont approve it.

I love my freedom more than myself. I love it even more when I am being forced to do something I dont really wish to... and that's when I fight. Like I did last night... though I had to surrender when they overpowered me, but that surrender made them loose their stand in the core of my non stop beating machine. So I dont feel defeated, because they are... What they lost last night, they'll never win that again.

I go down the memory lane and can't find myself acting like this ever. I was never like this. I am forever changing, I think! For good or for bad, is not the agenda at the moment, doing what you feel is what matters...

Having read this far, if you have a feeling that I am using this platform like a venting place, I think we have something in common.

Sweety.

One Quick Update!

I know its very very late now, but beleive me guys! I moved pix from my cam to pc yesterday only, after so so long!

So heres a small but very very cute part of how we celebrated A's 23rd birthday:


Click to enlarge!
Sweety.

The End

REJECT!

REJECT!

REJECT!

I, hereby, terminate IT as easily as when they terminate marriages when they say TALAAQ, TALAAQ, TALAAQ!

Sweety.

Weekend Insomnia Extended

3 hours of sleep and I am up and kicking!

Have been hearing about Mr. Bachchan's blog a lot off late and have read a few of his posts as well. Contrary to his image as a normal human being, I happened to like his write-ups, and thus, have added his link to my page! I had read that hes a nice orator, and I found out he writes equally well, so here he is, on my page :)

Just came back from a movie hall. Second day last show: Jaane tu...ya jaane na!

A lot of love and a lot of humour. Liked some performances a lot, like Naseeruddin's, Ratna Pathak Shah's and a couple more...and I found Genelia to be better than Imraan.

Quite a few times, the flick reminded me of Chetan Bhagat's latest of his trio, The 3 Mistakes of My life. Well, theres no similarity in the plots, but the story tends to get way too unbelievable at times and I felt the same when I was reading the book named above.

More than half of the people who I have talked about the book said it wasnt easy to digest some portions of the book as they seemed to be way too imaginary and I wudnt disagree. But why do we forget it was a piece of imagination, a piece of fiction!

And why do we read fiction if we cant digest a writer's imagination and if we cant imagine or visualise whatever he is trying to put across? Rather than pin-pointing such petty things, it wud be better and logical to read non-fictions!

Sweety.

Weekend Insomnia

Not feeling sleepy despite of a hectic night, I resorted to one of the things I love in my life...Music.

Atif's new track is out and its there on my current playlist and I am loving it...like his other tracks, like all other romantic tracks, for I think of A everytime I listen to it, even when he's sleeping blissfully by my side :) and here comes my coffee! Been ages I tasted it, I try and keep away from it so I dont loose my sleep but I thought I can have some today, when I am so feeling like having it and while the weekend is still here and I can catch up on my sleep later too. Coffee always reminds me of tea, which I havent tasted in 23+ years of my life. Mom never introduced me to it initially, for she thought I might start liking it over milk :) and then I also never picked it thinking tea, being dark in colour makes you dark! By the time I realised the truth, I had decided I seriously dint wish to taste it, and so it continues...

Coming back to Atif, K in her usual Q&A session asked if I had ever been to his live performances, sensing my liking for him. Yet another time I said no!

She continued, "do you know how is his voice in reality?" I really dint have a clue so I made it clear from my face expressions. She, after sensing my ignorance, enlightened, "its very bad! In his live concerts, one can figure out that hes not singing live and they play the recorded tracks in the background and he would just move his lips." "So do they edit it everytime he records a song in a studio?", I asked almost worried. And as suspected, she said, "yes!"

When I pondered on it again on my way back to my desk, I realised it really dint matter to me cz I just listen to what I love and I love what I listen to! How they get it is really not my business.

Now about last night at work. Despite of calibration with client and lots of pending audits, I managed to dine out with A between the shift and it was just lovely! No wonder I still love it when we go out for a date cz I can successfully forget the fact that I am married to him!

K met him last night and said she found him cute....

& I cant afford to disagree!!!

Sweety.

Abandoned in the Abundance of Love

Less than a couple dozen years of life and here's the eleventh man to have joined the gang...the gang of love strucks!

Where am I heading? Where's life taking me? How am I going to face the captain?

Sweety.

Yaari Dosti Taaza Maaza!

AP: Keep smiling! Was good talking to you after so long today.

S: :-)

AP: Shabaash!

S: :-D

AP: Alright, dats it! Dont make any more faces now.

S: B-) 8-)

AP: Stop that now. You're gonna be away for 2 days... :-(

S: :-P

AP: Oh Pagal Ladki.

S: :-(

AP: Pagal, Stupid, Idiot, enough now!

S: :'-(

The era of emoticans saves many many words!

Sweety.

Memoirs of a D'uh!

My new colleague K asked me yesterday if I had, ever in my life, rang someone's doorbell and ran away. Somewhat ashamed, I said, "no", but mentioned how annoyed I used to be when someone would ring our doorbell and I wouldnt find anyone waiting outside the gate. This was nothing less than a torture in summer afternoons, where you are half-sleep and all you see outside are deserted streets and no signs of those pranksters!

She asked back, "have you ever played street cricket?" Proudly, this time I said , "yes."and that "yes" gave a green signal to some memories to be lively in some part of my mind. I recalled how I loved to bat and hated to field whenever I played the game. I recalled I wasnt very good at it but still enjoyed quite a lot. I recalled playing with kids who were atleast 8-10 years younger to me! And I also recalled how I had once hit someone, right in his stomach, for I had sensed he was watching me play and I dint want him to. That someone...he was my dad's frnd's son, dad liked him a lot, they both were each other's favs, so much so that dad said it once he wanted to marry me off to him... Anyway, the guy smiled despite of that shot for he knew I had noticed him :D

While I was still lost in all this, K shot back. "Have you been mischevious in school days?" was her next question. I was humiliated this time. Reason being my sis who had asked me the same question just a couple days back and made me realised what I had missed in my life.

2 people have asked me same thing just in span of 2 days and they looked for the same thing...something I had never done and they had reacted identically...I realised being the way I was back then is just not IN these days!

All I treasure from my schooling years is being in good books of teachers, sincerity, obedience, topping the class every year, being named a "book-worm". Such a seedha - sadha bachcha I was, that now when I look back, I laugh at myself.

I love Pink Floyd's "We don't need no education" I so love it in my new avatar! And I am pretty sure, I would have ridiculed the artist for passing out such a message had I heard it in those years ;)

K said yesterday that I looked like a docile and I gladly replied, "these looks are deceptive, babe." She would have hit bull's eye had she said it around 3 years back. Those who know me in and out, would give all the credit (good or bad) to A & I wouldnt disagree. This man has changed me and changed me for good. Its been a complete transformation, believe you me!

I surrendered myself to him, but do you know the best part of this surrender? I have all the freedom I need and more & I love my life like this, I love my life with him!

Sweety.

P.S.: Those who think I was contradicting myself towards the end of the article, I suggest they need to read it over and over and over again until they start feeling that I wasn't! :P

Random Updates

I had decided to write today, may be some lines from my current fave song and Geetika was there to push me too...but the song will follow, work comes first.

My new campaign went live today, GMT noon time. Last 2 weeks of training, I have been busy and so has the day today, so far. With the first few test calls came a lot of things...loads of last minute doubts, nervous faces, plenty of technical errors, which is quite a custom here ;) and we knew it was coming! The first day of calls in a campaign has a lot of expectations, a lot of excitement, a lot of nervousness, a lot of first-timer-phobia :D

A guy even made it to the sale today and I got to do the verification!!! Reminds of the days I was in sales as an executive, around 4 yrs down the line...I used to see guys reading their scripts verbatim, stopping only to hear the firang on the other end say yes! (Firangs are who we deal with, I am used to this term, so please bear with me!)

And then comes my new role...quality analysis and I was given this:

Simply b'ful!

And now, as I stated in the beginning, here are few lines from my current fav song...ekdum latesht!

"Tu Khush Hai Toh Lage Ke Jahan Me Chayi Hai Khushi

Sooraj Nikle Baadalon Se Aur Baate Zindagi

Sun Toh Zara Madhosh Hawa Tujhse Kehne Lagi

Ki Aditi Woh Jo Bichadte Hain Ik Na Ik Din Fir Mil Jate Hain

Yeh Aditi Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na Phool Fir Khil Jate Hain...."

No...my name is not Aditi. No...I have not yet fallen for the new guy. No...I have not started liking Aamir overnight. :D The only reason I like this track is because it has been able to make me smile ear to ear in last fortnight, where I dint sleep for more than 4-5 hrs at a stretch, where I missed A like anything, where I was just so occupied...

Anyway, have to get back to my new headphones and listen to non-stop yap yap yap and then some more yapping!

Sweety.

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!

Many many happy returns of the day! Happy Birthday A!

A turns 23 today :)

Going down the memory lane, I recall I gifted him a poem on his birthday few years back. It seemed to be a perfect poem, for it had the ditto feelings I had. It was a long long one so following are a few excerpts:

"ye janmdin, har din, mubarak ho unko

dost to bahut hain par hum jaan maante hain jinko.

Khushiyo se ho malamaal, sametna mushkil ho unko,

God ne khud happy birthday kaha ho, aisa mehsoos ho unko mann ko.

......

sochte hain is mauke par, hum bhi keh de apna kissa tamaam,

bata de zamane ko, kyu lete hain baar baar aapka naam.

tu hi to hai woh jis se raushan hai subah, mehakti hai meri shaam,

meri zindagi ka behatarin hissa hai, tu banda nahi hai aam.

.....

ye dua hai meri ki sitaro se badhkar chamke tere naseeb,

tu jinhe chahe wo rahe har pal tere kareeb.

tu kar dikhaye har kamaal chahe aam ho ya ajeeb,

tu dosto ki ho pasand, tu zamane ko ho azeez.

......"

So sorry A, for sneaking in your file from the briefcase ;)

It was yet another day that made me realise I can never do enough to show what you mean to me!

Sweety.

I've got to be ME

Its CRISIS time.

For the first time its "identity crisis". For the first time I am feeling bored with things. For the first time.....

I do not welcome changes easliy, but its the stagnant life of mine that's been a botheration for me.

They say its a mood swing period I am going thru, I know I am not. At the same time I dont know what I am going thru.

It dint happen overnight. At the same time I dont know when it started to change.

Its not because of just one thing. At the same time I dont know what the reason is.

I have been "the busier, the happier" kinds, so far as I remember. I adore this state so much so that its being difficult to survive with this trait at work. May be I was like this always and this "busy" phase never let me think of it ever.

Sustaining zenith is getting impossible by the day. Not that its tough to handle it, but Work is what you prove yourself with.

No work, no test.

No test, no evalution.

Give it some time and people forget you as if you were never there. Identity crisis, isnt it?

Sweety.

New voyage called VONAGE

Another change is just round the corner...
Come Monday and its gonna be all different...for just a few weeks, but yes, change is a change.

I have been moved to a new project, and that means new working hours, new work, and people from a new culture to deal with.
I am going to start working on a project which is outsourced to us by Vonage UK. We start with a week long voice and accent training along with a few inputs on UK Culture and then may be 2 weeks for a thorough knowledge of Vonage product/services, which we are about to sell. Ohh yes, we are going to selllllll.... :(

The day I was told that I was going to be a part of this campaign, I was so so excited cz I was looking for some change in my boring work which was related with web-research day in and day out. Reading web-sites, copying - pasting & editing data to no relief.

Today is going to be the last day of it all. Monday morning...yes its going to be a day shift, so monday morning when I report at office, I am gonna head straight to the training room! To a week long learning of a country's culture and dialect. I like training sessions, for they are meant to enhance the learning, for they have more fun time, for they let you have a better interaction with everyone around and there is no boredom most of the times. Not many people wud agree wid the last point, but this stands true for me.

Another change that I'd like to talk about, before I forget to mention it...
My role is gonna be changed too. I have always been a part of operations, but this time I'm gonna join the Quality brigade :) :(

Yeah I have a mixed feeling for that, m happy and excited as its gonna be an all new job, new responsibilities and new challenges and I am sad as I haven't got any experience in this field. Though they call me perfectionist and diligent when it comes to quality from operations' point of view, but I have no clue what quality is from quality's point of view!
Someone who has a lot of faith in me chose me for this role, knowing I had no great knowledge of it all. I am sure expectations are an all time high this time and I have to live up to them. Once again!

Besides all this, coming 3 weeks would also mean lack of time for web and for blogging. I'd also be adjusting my sleep and my day's routine, but what I am going to miss the most is my time with A.
Now that's what the challenge is!

Hope to be back here soon,
Sweety.

WOW!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Pretty overwhelmed with all kinda feelings now and have quite a few reasons to continue "wowing"...

• Courtesy Gujar protests, my company did not send the office cab to my place today, my boss smilingly asking me to enjoy the holiday, while most of'em had to work, just because their homes were not at places affected with the protests (or may be riots)...So I was home the entire day(rather night) cz thats wat my shift is, and I bet they marked me Present with special comments against it..... WOW!!!


• Because of this off work day, I got to visit our flat where a lot of things are going on...we'll be moving soon, that kinda scares me, but I trust my Man on this, just like i do for everything else. I got to choose the paint shades for all rooms, cabinet shapes and designs for the under-construction modular kitchen, feeling busier than ever..... Wow!!!


• For the rest of my time of the day, I guess, I did the best thing ever... I read Chetan's latest of his trio, titled as "The 3 Mistakes of my life" cover to cover.....yes, can you beat that? Finished reading it moments back and felt the urge of writing here :) What a book..... WOW!!!

Now just in case you think I am trying to do something like the book with my 3 pointers above, please know that this was co-incidental.

I do not plan to write a review on the book, however, if it sounds like that, please be reminded that its not one ;)

While I was reading the book, I was comparing it with the previous 2, all the time. Though I have liked both of'em, and "One night..." being one of the first fictions I read, I think this one was as good as his debut book, leaving far far far behind the second one...

Last weekend when I had bought it, my husband said if his writing style was still the same...knowing that I had already read an excerpt of the book on the website...I had replied in positive. But had added, its nice to hear/read stories in that style. I am not a CB fan, but at the same time, I like his books just like I like many others.

With the third book added to his list, he continues to write in the same manner where one doesnt need a dictionary to comprehend whats going on, it rather feels like he's talking to you all the time (works perfectly for patient & good listeners like me ;) ), fun & good humor intact, very cute and beautiful when it comes to romantic scenes and I simply love his selection of words and expressions! He continues using long-hyphanated-tags (just like this one!) that add the fun of reading his write-ups.

1 thing that sets "3 mistakes..." apart of the trio is that its based on issues and incidents broader than those of Book 1 & 2. There was a lot blood and gore in the book but I figured out by the end, Chetan likes happy endings, like most of us. I so much like the way he writes the acknowledgment part of his books... In one of his books, he had even thanked Bill gates for Microsoft Word and its various fonts, for they let him show quite a few things simultaneously!

Chetan Bhagat has raised the bar for himself with "3 mistakes..." and I dont mind saying it... I am waiting for his next, right from today onwards!

Its a must read for those who were disappointed after "one night..." for it'll reinstill their liking for the author, but only if they wish to!

Apologies if my views above contained spoilers for the book. Here's the link to book's page on Chetan's website: The 3 Mistakes of my Life

Sweety.

Acknowledgements (not really!)

I got a few words of appreciation last evening :)
Soon as I reached office and signed in to Yahoo IM, hubby dearest expressed he had liked my last post as it was very well written...

Generally, whenever I update the blog, I tell him I have updated expecting him to read, knowing his schedule doesn’t permit him to go and check it everyday for any updates. I do this for he’s the one who made me try my hands on writing though starting with blogs was my idea.

His appreciation came when it was least expected and the words were so mild and beautiful, I had tears in my eyes (I dint tell him this, now he’d know!) I realized my hands trembling while I tried writing “Thank-You” I was back to normal soon thinking I was in office and was just about to start my day.

While going back home, I thought about it again. And with that, also came memories and all the good times. Sometimes, the fear of losing it all is what makes you get it all in life. Makes you dare to do things you might not have courage to do otherwise! There was a time when there used to be marriage proposals coming for me every now and then. People visiting us pretending they had come to console on our loss and then calling us back to tell they had found me very homely and would like to propose for marriage. Sick!

My hubby has always been my confidante; he has always known what’s going on in my life. And when he came to know of these stupid behaviors of people, he realized he needed to say it now. He knew once I got married, he’s gonna lose this friendship as well. His actions made me also confess I had the same love for him. So the sense of losing me made him get me!

Today when we remember those times, he makes fun of me saying if he had not done this, I wud’ve got married to some mama’s boy, no clue how gud/bad he wud’ve been to me, I picture myself mothering at least 2 kids (may be more), leave alone working full time and managing home simultaneously! Sounds more like a caged bird, doesn’t it? Well it does to me. I never had great expectations out of me, but I had never wanted to end up like this either!

Whenever I seem to complain that he’s not spending time with me, he replies humorously, “You know, the moment I was born, I had my index finger pointing towards Delhi to show everyone that you are there and I have come only for you, see I have been so dedicated towards you and you say I don’t spend time with you?” He leaves me speechlessly wondering how great his imagination is.

He’s always been with me thru my thick n thin, silently supporting me, perhaps leaving me to realize it all…so I wanna let him know…I realize it, understand it and appreciate it!

I owe a lot of things in life to you, including myself!

Sweety.

Is it worth it?

I’ve been doing a lot of things everyday, day after day…except for a few, I don’t feel like doing’em…they don’t interest me anymore…they are done just because someone asked for’em…

Root cause of the pain is knowing things done unwillingly are not even being realized, acknowledged, appreciated…guess the last word was like asking for a little too much...

Thinking of times flooded with work… Days spent thinking work, sleeping work, eating work & doing work, joy of being acknowledged, joy of being appreciated, joy of being the centre of attention (though I din't like it much), joy of being on top of everything (as they say it), joy of being the only one in the category to have received awards, joy of being the reason of people’s jealousy…gone are the days…

I was raised to be honest and sincere, loyal and truthful and was proud to have acquired these qualities, now I wonder if they are still considered to be qualities. Sincerity doesn’t pay without being able to refuse to obey, Honesty doesn’t pay without being manipulative, being loyal doesn’t pay without being bitching, being truthful doesn’t pay without saying half truths is what I’ve been observing, and I feel I am stuck!

I am stuck because I find it all contradicting and I can never understand how they do it. I can never do this without losing things I am proud of possessing and if I ever do it, I wouldn’t consider myself alive anymore because I don’t think its really worth living like being that.

I feel being wasted…


Sweety.

Office Party <:-)

Friday, May 16 was Office party for TM at IQR. Last one was in April '07 and so this one was much awaited.

I aint a regular at parties and the biggest requisite for me is the presence of hubby dearest. Still I decided to attend this one, after Boss #2 had asked me to be there and left me wondering why he said that...so we left the office at 2200 hrs for the venue. I wudnt really name the place cz it sucked big time and I am not here to write reviews abt places...anyway.

So, I signed on the entry sheet corresponding to my name in the list, got my wrist stamped with the logo of the place at the entrance and stepped inside. Soon as I joined a couple of colleagues, I was asked what i'd like to drink and that reminded me of a small exchange of words merely an hour back:
R: Have changed my mind, I think I am going to party, Oliie asked me to join.
A: Gud, have a gud time. Dont drink too much. Love you.
R: Do you think I am gonna drink? Not without you, darls.
A: I meant water, juice....
R: Dont you kid me, ok?
And I declared I wanted juice. "What, you have come here to drink juice?" Asked PS. Astonished, I replied, "Yes, I dont drink when A is not around." She laughed at me, doesnt matter, I thot. :) Snacks were served and drinks started flowing. I quickly sent a text to A, who was still in office and much to my dismay, having a bad day. Guess it worsened it for him wen I wrote, "boring party, missing you loads."

Music was ok initially, probably the DJ took time getting our taste of music...but does it really matter when people are drunk to no limit and all they want is a loud noise to move thier bodies? But yes, music got better and better gradually. And that was only gud thing about the place. Gud english and punjabi music made everyone move non-stop. I can't dance, honestly and so I was sitting at the back, tapping my feet on the floor, non stop (thats all I know about dancing) and munching on chilly chicken and kababs when Boss #2 approaches. Clicking pix from his cam he asked why I wasnt dancing. "Cz I dunno how to", came the apt reply from me. "Yeah, as if I joined a dance school as soon as I was born!!" Saying this, boss left me speechless, stepping on the dance floor again.

I love to see people dancing. I can always spot a few who believe in "Dance as if no one's watching", it shows from the way they dance! While I refused many a requests to dance, I thot of having some more juice. Spotting Boss #1 near the bar, I approached him and asked him to get one for me, meanwhile, Boss #2 comes towards the bar.
R: Thanks for making me come here, I think its gonna be a gud one for all of us.
Boss: (smiling) btw, what are you having?
R: Pineapple juice!



Guess he was a lil concerned, knowing A wasnt around. Making him smile, I left the bar. Back here at the dance floor, things were getting better by the minute. Booze effect, eh? It was so great to see all the bosses dancing, making faces and drinking. For a change, no superviser scolded anyone for not meeting target and no executive cribbed for break. The best part, no hierarchy, no boss-subordinate relation!


Soon, the booze effect was clearly visible on a few and others were still sober. And then we got some retro hindi music! A gr8 start with "Pyar hamein kis mod pe le aaya" made all the bosses go jump on the dance floor, followed by "bachna aye hasino lo main aa gaya" with Boss #2, moving fingers in his hair and giving cute expressions on his face. "Roop tera mastana" left him wondering which gal he shud tease and dance with! :)




It was a little after mid-night when the DJ announced he was going to play the last track for the night. We all shouted our lungs out asking for more n more! Sensing that I was the only one who hadnt danced yet, MS, our new CEO grabbed my hand and brought me to the dance floor. Dilemma: I cant dance and I cant say no to her! So I called all those who I had refused to dance with and thot of trying it out with'em. Thanks to my misfortune, the track the DJ had played turned out to be "Sutta", OMG! But u know what? I went on, I really dunno who saw me doing that, but yes, I danced for a few seconds and ran back. See the Suttah effect:

& The best one...

Next 45 minutes were spent requesting DJ for more music and dancing endlessly. With the free supply of booze, almost everyone had had enough, but not everyone can handle it, u see. The worst part was when a supervisor was also out and started acting insane. I heard a bouncer(i guess he was a bouncer) asking his boss not to play anymore music fearing we wudnt move out of the place if it wasnt stopped. ;) :P The bosses made sure everyone had dinner which was one real difficult task to get done. I, all of a sudden felt an urge of having ice cream so I asked Boss #1.
R: (Raising my hand like a school kid) I want an ice cream!
Boss: Have ur food and u'l get it.
R: Had it.
Boss: Will just get one.

And I saw him asking the buffet guy, but I figured thay dint have ice cream in stock, strange though. We finally left and I heard a lot of us thanking the bosses, shaking hands, hugging each other. Nice feeling. :) I also moved towards Boss #1.
R: Thanks a lot, S.
Boss: You are always welcome, R.
R: (smiling wickedly) I thanked for the ice-cream, S.
Boss: (Embarassed) Sorry yaar, they didnt have it. We'll have one once we get downstairs.

I smiled and dint say anything, cz I appreciated what he had said and I also knew there wudnt be an Ice Cream wala outside at this hour of night. Its atitude dat matters to me!

I have a special caption for the pix below: "Shikari khud yaha shikar ho gaya!"

It was a gr8 evening that made us see who we really were, what we were made of and our different facets. We were just being ourselves, unlike we are when we are in office. May be we dont realise, but we put on a mask wen at work but the real us comes out only in these times! This outing also made me realise how important such times are for they let you know each other better.

Sweety

Mother's day

Happy Mother’s day to all…




A perfect morning, the day started with a long walk and my fav radio station, and before I forget to mention, lemme tell you the best part of this morning... the weather today! It rained in Delhi & NCR today!

See what I clicked!







Its mother’s day today. Honestly, I don’t believe in these observations cz few people and things are so vital in our lives, that we just cant celebrate them in just one day of the year…they are to be cherished all thru our lives…


But I have a few things in mind which I’d like to jot down today, about my Mom and my childhood…These are a few things I’d never forget in life:

• Mom used to say I was fairer than milk when I was born. Morning after my birth, one of my cousins, after seeing me, told her elder brother how sweet I looked. She was so elated by that feeling that she went on describing me. She used the word “sweet” so many times that her brother (who’d had enough, guess) had declared, “Let’s name her Sweety”.. And that’s how I got my name!



• Like every other kid, when I started talking, it look me long to get a few words right. A pigeon was called “Taate”, soap was “chhanjun”, katori (bowl) was “kotri” and so on. But the best of them all was how I pronounced the word six! No matter how hard everyone wud try, I wudnt say “six”, but I’d say “chick” !!! Pure fun :D



• This was back in 1987, I started going to school when I was hardly 2.5 yrs old. A lady was appointed to pick me and a few other kids of the locality to take us to school. She’d pick me first and the two of us would walk around and pick other kids and by the time I reached school, I used to be half dead! Quite weak as I already was, I used to start vomiting as soon as I stepped in the school. As a result, mom talked to my school principal, who used to live nearby, and she started picking me up on her way to school…and I got rid of those pukish mornings.



• Another school memory…mom once visited school for a parents meeting. As she entered the class-room, she noticed I wasn’t doing the class work, but just looking at the girl sitting next to me…mom enquired my teacher who happily responded saying the other gal had not brought her pencil that day and so I had lent her my only pencil before I did my own work!!! Was I so generous way back then??? Unbelievable…



• I had prayed to God to give me lil brother when someone told me Mom was about to bring a baby home. I was hardly six then. One morning when my cousin woke me up telling me I had got a younger sister that morning, I simply refused to even open my eyes! Turning to the other side I said, “I had asked for a boy, not a gal. Ask god to change it before I get up, or else I wudn’t talk to Him” So bad!!!



• Like every other elder kid, I had my fair share of sibling rivalry too. Dad was neutral, but mom wud always favor her and all I’d get was scolding. I still remember once I fell down from stairs with her in my arms and I was the last one to be noticed, she got all the attention! I had many similar grievances, which were never addressed… but with time, I have understood how natural and real it is, life teaches you everything!

• As a kid, I was pretty regular with TV, mithun da being my fav hero of all… I once saw him getting bruised in an action scene and I ran towards my mom to get a band-aid for him, though I never thought how it’d reach him! So attached I was! In another movie, he dies but re-incarnates (the usual Indian filmy drama, u know). Moments ago, I was so grieved by his death as I thought it was real & I wudnt get to watch another movie of his, but now his presence on screen delighted me and made me jumping and chirping all over the place! Those were the days…



• The place where I spent the initial 4.5 yrs of childhood had plenty of monkeys roaming around in the residential area. They would roam as if it was their kingdom and would ruin everything they had access to. One such afternoon, when mom and I were alone at home, two of’em entered the kitchen, coming down from terrace. Doing the usual thing, drinking water straight out of refrigerator, one of them caught my leg and wudnt leave me while I was in mom’s lap. We both shouted our lungs out and a neighbor came running to rescue us. He literally joined his hands and chanted Hanuman Chalisa and that made the monkey leave me and go back!

For me, days like mother's day or even valentine's day don’t really matter but people do, but this day today has reminded me of the best days of life I got to spend withher…miss ya, mom!

Here's something to suffice my funny bone:

Sweety.

Appraisal Blues

Thinking of Michael Jackson...humming one of his songs...

All I wanna say is that

they don't really care about us!

Sweety.

Badal pe paao hain!!!!!

“We're blessed with an angel, Our princess has arrived!!!”

My husband was sending this text message to everyone we both knew and we could hear our phones ringing non-stop. I had been thru probably the most terrible pain and the fruit was now in my arms – a baby girl, my hubby had always wanted a daughter, I guess every father does the same, though I had no preferences as such, honestly.

As the visitors’ hour approached, I saw my few hours old lil gal trying to get acquainted with almost everyone, peeing in the laps of only the lucky ones ;) while her dad cudnt stop smiling for even a fraction of a second, as if all his wishes had come true, and I was lost in flash back of last few months, which we both had spent, sometimes imagining, sometimes dreading (only me) and sometimes dreaming, rather day dreaming!

My life was changed and I was so very excited about the coming days, rest of my life will now be revolving around not only my man, but around her too, I’l get to be wat I’ve always loved being, a kid! I dint care if I was going to get sleep-less nights or lazy days, I was plain happy – period! I soon conversed with the doc, and I was told she had been easy on me, and I so thanked the God (who I think of only when I have to thank Him) for this, for saving me from facing my biggest fear…a caesarian delivery, I had always feared this…

I was lost in all this when my cell phone rang again, informing me that my office cab was on its way to my place, to come pick me for office…what the heck!!! That heavenly time…what was that supposed to be??? A dream? Yes it was a dream, and I got up to the reality, cursing the same God and began my day...

No, this dream really doesn’t mean I m ready to be a mom already…but yes, I am pretty hopeful about it. It might sound funny that whenever I talk about kids, my husband feels as if I am ready to go, and specifies he isn’t yet, and is reassured by me. He’d laugh it out and he’d never answer if I’d ask him how many kids he’d want to father, but I have always wanted just one kid, doesn’t matter a gal or a boy…and when I shared the same with my Rakhi-Brother(who happens to be the only child of his parents), I got a serious advice. He said you can nvr share anything and everything with ur folks, but its hell easier wen its ur sibling who you are sharing it with, so think of at least 2…self experience in that thought was abundant and made me think deeply into it…

I haven’t decided on that yet thinking time will tell the best, but let me tell you, just a glimpse of motherhood and that too in a dream, has made my eyes sparkle, more than ever!

Sweety.

Nothing, Really...

And I thought Introspection helps!!!

Sweety.

History of April 1

Nothing really historical about the day, but a few facts I found to be interesting!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 1, 374 Comet 1P/374 E1 (Halley) approaches within 0.0884 AUs of Earth

April 1, 1578 William Harvey of England discovers blood circulation

April 1, 1778 Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans businessman, creates "$"

April 1, 1792 Gronings feminist Etta Palm demands women's right to divorce

April 1, 1793 Volcano Unsen on Japan erupts killing about 53,000

April 1, 1866 U.S. Congress rejects presidential veto gives all equal rights

April 1, 1867 Blacks vote in municipal election in Tuscumbia, Alabama

April 1, 1872 1st edition of The Standard

April 1, 1889 1st dishwashing machine marketed in Chicago

April 1, 1891 London-Paris telephone connection opens

April 1, 1900 1st edition of Dutch newspaper "The People"

April 1, 1924 Imperial Airways forms in Britain

April 1, 1924 Hitler sentenced to 5 years labor but Gen Ludendorff acquitted

April 1, 1927 1st automatic record changer introduced by His Master's Voice (HMV)

April 1, 1929 Louie Marx introduces Yo-Yo Game

April 1, 1931 Earthquake devastate Managua Nicaragua, kills 2,000

April 1, 1936 Orissa constituted a province of British India

April 1, 1942 Mexico changes from 3 time zones to 2

April 1, 1944 Japanese troops conquer Jessami, East-India

April 1, 1946 400,000 U.S. mine workers strike

April 1, 1946 Tsunamis generated by a quake in Aleutian Trench strike Hilo, Hawaii

April 1, 1948 Big Bang theory proposed

April 1, 1952 U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site

April 1, 1954 Earthquake and tsunami ravage Aleutians, 200 killed

April 1, 1954 U.S. Air Force Academy forms

April 1, 1957 World's biggest glass oven used

April 1, 1963 New York City's newspapers resume publishing after a 114 day strike

April 1, 1964 10 degrees F lowest temperature ever recorded in Cleveland in April

April 1, 1970 President Nixon signs bill limiting cigarette advertisements

April 1, 1971 United Kingdom lifts all restrictions on gold ownership

April 1, 1973 Japan allows its citizens to own gold

April 1, 1973 John and Yoko form a new country with no laws or boundaries, called Nutopia, its national anthem is silence

April 1, 1976 Stephen Wozniak and Steven Jobs founded Apple Computer

April 1, 1980 France performs nuclear test

April 1, 1986 Delhi beat Haryana by innings and 141 to win Ranji Trophy

April 1, 1986 World oil prices dip below $10 a barrel

April 1, 1990 It becomes illegal in Salem Oregon to be within 2' of nude dancers ;) :D

April 1, 1991 U.S. minimum wage goes from $3.80 to $4.25 per hour

Courtesy: BrainyHistory


Sweety.

Broken…

I heard about an unpleasant incident today. A colleague’s uncle died in a road accident, when his car collided with a truck loaded with oxygen cylinders, needless to say, he died on the spot. The police, as if this wasn’t enough, injected the dead with alcohol, and made an ugly scene. Unfortunately, car belonged to a friend and the poor guy wasn’t carrying his driving license. The news came out later in evening and now the cops demanded bribe to close the case and release the body. How unfortunate! Makes me wonder if we really need something like police…are they there to make life better for us or worsen it???

I soon got over with the Police part, it’s something usual in my city…but I can’t get over the fact that it’s a broken family now. L Probably he was the one who earned the bread and butter for his family… I know nothing in this world stops when someone leaves, no matter how great a person he/she was, but still!

When I went thru this breaking thing, when it happened with my family, when I was barely 14, I thought of Something once…The only person I shared it with dint agree with me, I dint argue, I dint fight, but I kept this thought back in my heart, where it came from, but with the news of every demise, I think of it again and again, and today is one such day…

So that thinking of mine says, Families shouldn’t be broken.

That simply means that a family would comprise of parents and their kids, and according to me, no one would leave or die alone. If the time has come for’em, they all would die together! So that there’s no one to cry after’em, no one has to miss’em, no one feels deprived of anything, and above all, nobody’s life is blank, be it any page of life! And yah, that also makes me ponder on how this entire episode will go to one generation after the other, if I think logically (Yeah I do that too, sometimes). I got a temporary solution to this too, but I sure knew God wouldn’t buy that, if I were ever to present it to him.

I wrote it here today, not because another death reminded me of it, not because I wanted to take it forward to more and more people and get someone to support or agree with me, but because I wanted it to come out of my heart and be there on my mind always, I might find one reason, one solution, one day. Amen!


Sweety.

Why?

My husband told me this last night...Early that evening; he had gone to buy something at a local shop. The next thing he saw, the shop owner, slouching in his chair with his eyes closed, was listening to a real old number…do naina, ek kahani, thoda sa badal, thoda sa pani, aur ek kahani… this was enough to remind him of the days when he was an ardent music lover…Lucky Ali and a couple more being his favs…

We both are working. I am in sales and He works with numbers and works approx 14 hours a day, and his day is such that doesn’t permit him to listen to music, I feel, and not only music, but a lot of similar things…“little things of joy”. And this small incident that took place a few hours back in his life made him say this… “I want to play some music for myself while I am also slouching on my chair, with my eyes closed, not being bothered about anything, at all!” and in my heart I had said, “Amen”…

Post 13 months of married life, I have countless good and very good and excellent things that have happened but I’d also admit that the little time we get together (read “weekend”), we try our best to make it the BEST! But honestly, not everything can wait till next weekend comes. We try our best to show up in family gatherings and we try our best to keep up with our social circuit but we fail at times…but the irony of life is when at work, we never fail…and sometimes, I wonder WHY?

Sweety.

I’m Balanced Brain!!!

May be for the first time, I am writing about something after a lot of research and reading on the net! (For people like me, writing about brain really needs time and research!!!) :D


I am at Tickle (http://web.tickle.com/) for over 2 years now and have taken so many tests, that I’ve lost the count! I guess they’ve too and probably that’s why they started mailing me 1 free test in e-mail every week (When I say free test, read free results for tests, which they usually sell for around $10!) And this week’s was Brain Test… well, just to find out if I was Right brained or Left Brained. Funny test, I’d say, but yeah, with good logics hidden behind every question! And they came out with the results with the blink of an eye! This is what I read about myself:

“You are Balanced Brain. That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation. (Makes me smile ear to ear, already!!!) While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker. (Yipeeeeee, it really cudnt get better than this !!!!!)

But…The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways. (Now I know why I find myself pointing at right when I really mean Left and vice-versa!!! No kidding…this happens quite often with me, how true!)”
As if that wasn’t enough, they also mentioned: "Other balanced-brained people are pop singer Madonna, classical composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and comedian and actor Robin Williams." (Well, till now, I really never thot I had something in common with’em!!!)

Left brained people are those who: * go as per facts and not logic* Focus on words & language & not the way they are said * Like math and science * Acknowledge well * Have good order/pattern perception * Are Practical and safe * Form strategies

And Right brained are known to * Learn symbols and images rather than names * Be Risk taking * Like philosophy and religion * Present the possibilities * Believe and appreciate * Be Good at imagination and so on!

Courtesy: Heraldsun

(http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html)

I never knew simple details about one could tell what side of brain that person is oriented to be! Things like keeping your desk messy or cleared all the time, being better at algebra or geometry, day dreaming or not, thinking in pictures or words, using words or pictures more when talking, being more flexible or more stable, being better at remembering names or faces…..

Courtesy: Blogthings

(www.blogthings.com/areyourightorleftbrainedquiz/)

Another website said: The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Gosh! This was crazy…

Pictures Courtesy: "Google Images"

P.S.: If this entire trivia above gives you some idea about your brain or/and makes you curious to know more about yours, I recommend you appear for a test and know for urself!

Sweety.